today

enough about tom. today i started on my work. i read my maths notes. i have covered partial fractions and the binomial theorem. then, i had this great urge to paint. so i painted.
i also drew.
yesterday.
i stayed home. i spent the time filing my notes. all the worksheets accumulated and were bursting out of my file. other than that, i read my batman black and white comic and stayed up to watch the quarterfinal. portugal lost to germany 3-2. i like germany. i find that they are the team i watch the most, at this euros and at the world cup two years back. not that i particularly liked them, but somehow i watched many of their matches. i support germany. heil deutschland!
wednesday.
i went back to school to paint. i made some good progress. i have begun work on painting the little boy. i realise how weird things are when i paint without a reference photo. i guess i need to level up soon. i ate lunch at the friendly neighbourhood mcdonalds'. i asked for fries with no salt. no salt. i left school at six. i went to parkway. the bus ride was long. it took forever. sian ru was on the bus too. i alighted at parkway and he got off too. we saw muyao there. we decided to eat. we ate at pastamania. i am one meal away, from PASTAMANIA VIPship. i like creamy chicken. we ate. we talked. then we walked. i dragged them to adidas. i pointed to a mini replica of the euro match ball, and asked the friendly guy 'how much is this ball?'. and he told me, and i queried further 'do you have any other balls?' and he said no sir. and the other two guffawed like the immature children that they are. i bought my football. i held it in my arms. i was happy. then muyao dragged us to nike to look at that running shoe he wants. the one that syncs with his ipod. i like that orange netherlands jersey. it looked nice. we went to the mac shop at the basement. i sampled headphones and earphones. my wishlist has thus grown. we molested the ipods. the shutters were closing. we left. it was drizzling slightly. the bus ride home was short. i now live in bedok. on the bus, i looked at my new football and smiled.
tuesday.
i had a dream. it was a nightmare. and it encompasses this feeling that's been bugging me recently. its a worry, about the future. tha inadequate, not good enough feeling. (what's a blog without a bit of emo-ness)
i was sitting on a bus. it's not unlike the usual double decker public buses. i am on top, and the bus goes past what looks like some condominium estate. come to think of it, it resembled the home i just left last week. there are many trees, and pathways and roads that run through the trees. i see a swimming pool. we go on an uphill slope. the sky is pink-orange. it is dreamy and ...nice. up the slope we go.
the bus stops. we are at a bridge, overlooking a beautiful river. it appears we have come out of the estate, out of the trees. there is a beautiful sunset. the bridge is like cavenagh bridge, at boat quay. we all alight. i am eager to get off, because i want to take in this town that we have entered.
i take a quick glance at the view from the bridge, the river leading out into the sunset. behind me, the other passengers get off swiftly. when i next turn around, they have all walked their seperate ways, gone so quickly.
i find a friend, an acquaintance. he is not one i am close to. but i know him. he is walking away from the bus. he says he has places to be. he cant stay long. he vanishes around the next corner. i find myself alone, more alone then ever. and i feel very, very fearful.






the town, it is like a theme park, an area within a castle. the walls around are tinges of purple and yellow and orange and gold, like the sky. but all is quiet. it is not a very ... ordinary theme park. it seems dead. like everyone's gone home. the colours of the sky actually seem similar to dawn, but i know it is sunset not sunrise, somehow some feeling tells me this. the town is almost like that castle area in shrek. but very dead and so very quiet.

i think the theme park thing was about childhood. since it's dead it signifies that the years are dead and gone. i am scared because i am left alone, in a place familiar yet where something is very wrong. i think it means that after this i will be left alone, with no one to depend on. we grow up and have to find jobs and support ourselves. people go their own way from that bus, and i, so eager to alight and enjoy the beautiful scenery, find that i dont know where to go in this beautiful town, and night is coming and i am left clueles.
ohno.

(wow. how sad and all. but i felt the time called for a serious post.)

monday.
i dont remember.
i shall sleep.

sunday/saturday.
fever. sleepless at night. hot.